The son of a painter he may be, but Jeffrey Archer has led a life so colourful that if he ever pens his autobiography it may surpass his novels for sheer 'bestseller' worth. The man has lived large and lied 'large' and here's how.
He was a Member of Parliament and Deputy Chairman of the Conservative Party; he also became a life peer in 1992. But, at the same time, when he was running for Mayor of London he was charged with perjury and conspiracy to pervert the course of justice. And, like the hero of his latest novel, Danny Cartwright, he was sent to prison - the only difference being he was charged with a crime he did commit.
But nothing can ever pin Archer down. Like a true sportsman (which he is in real life), he was back on his feet and sprinting for the finish line. And, methinks, A Prisoner of Birth is only the 'bang' at the starting point.
The three Ws - where, why and who
Occasion: Author's introduction to his new book A Prisoner of Birth.
Cast: Jeffrey Archer, fans
Location: Landmark, Chennai (incidentally, the bookstore's first outlet in the country)
A 'Landmark' wait
A clearing amid regimental shelves of books. Rows of blue plastic chairs waiting expectantly. A cacophony of sound - scuffling feet; voices raised in query, irritation and excitement; the teller ringing up purchases of A Prisoner of Birth; and finally, polite applause.
I raise my head expecting to see Jeffrey Archer - the man whose books (well, Kane and Abel, at least) I used to carry around in college, both because they impressed me and because I wanted to create an impression - walk in. Instead, I see an elderly gentleman, pink in the face with embarrassment, duck his head and take a seat. The impatient audience had mistaken him for the author. Laughter ensues. And that set the mood for the evening.
When the real Sir Archer finally walks in, he immediately fills the room. The man knows how to work a crowd. He quickly gets through the expected speech - about his visit to six cities in 12 days, his pleasure at being in Chennai, and his joy at seeing a sizeable crowd - and gets to what he likes talking about, his work.
The author speaks
Archer doesn't believe in mincing words. And after innumerable such talks to the public, he can anticipate what is running through the audience's minds. So the first thing he does is drive a stake through the hearts of aspiring novelists - he describes his normal 'work' day. "I get up at 5.30 a.m. and start writing at 6 a.m. I work for two hours and then take a two hour break." He says he alternates between two-hour work sessions until 9 p.m.
"I do this for 50 days - and I have the first draft of a book. And what you write first can never be the final. You have to keep at it." For A Prisoner of Birth that meant 17 drafts and about 1,000 hours of work. Moral of the story: writing is not just a hobby to be taken up lightly; it is a full time job.
He then goes on to do what he does best: keep his fans hanging on to his every word and laughing at his every second sentence.
According to Archer, Mickey Mouse taught him one of the best lessons of life: "If you know you've got to the last question in a TV interview, keep on talking." When and why did he learn the lesson? Well, time for a flashback.
Archer had invested heavily in Aquablast, a Canadian company, which turned out to be a fraudulent investment scheme. Penniless and without a job (he resigned from the House of Commons as he was on the brink of bankruptcy), he decided to write a book. The plot: four suckers (just like Archer) who lose their money and think up devious plans to get every penny back. And so Not a Penny More, Not a Penny Less came about.
Like most 'innocent' first-timers, he thought that with a book in hand, it would only be a matter of days before some publisher snapped him up. However, he says, "Eighteen publishers turned me down - this is the one record I have that is even larger than J K Rowling's. Only 16 publishers turned down her book."
But finally he was published and, though he did not become an overnight celebrity, he continued churning out books. "The real breakthrough came with Kane and Abel," says Archer. Its success in the UK prompted the publishers to look to the US and auction the manuscript to the highest bidder. And, voila, Simon and Schuster snapped up the book for $3.2 million - an unheard-of figure back then.
However, the initial exhilaration of selling his book quickly died out when Archer realised he had an uphill task in the US - no one had heard of him. And if he had to make it to the best sellers' top 15 list, he had to become a household name, and fast. And since there was no Oprah Winfrey's Book Club back then, he had to settle for breakfast television.
The first was the Today Show with Dave Hartman, who didn't much care for novelists unless they had written about sex or the secrets to 'slim' health. But there was another hitch - he had to share a six-minute slot with two others: Billy Carter (the brother of the then US president) and Mickey Mouse. While the former expounded on his beer, the latter latched onto the last question and waxed eloquent on the 75th anniversary of Walt Disney, leaving Archer with no time to talk (well, expect to comment on his experience flying on the Concord).
The result of such a 'successful' talk show: the book debuted at No 27 on the list. Another talk show, this time a radio show (where Archer was mistaken for Edmund Hillary - definitely not a good start to any interview) and the book inched its way to No 23. It finally took The Tonight Show host Johnny Carson (who said he had picked the book up and couldn't put it down until 4 a.m. the next morning) to catapult him to No 1 in under 10 days. The rest, as the cliche goes, is history.
After 30 minutes of talking (and he was quite particular about it - he kept checking his watch), Archer asks the audience to throw him their best questions. And, as expected, there are some good ones and some bad ones. A sample:
Are you inspired by Indian politics?
Ummm, no!
Will you ever write a book with an Indo-British plot line?
My next book is called Paths of Glory and it revolves around an Englishman who visits India. But that is the most that India will feature in my books. I won't trample on the toes of the brilliant writers you have here, just as I don't expect them to trample on Cambridge, London or my territory.
I read your book and I thought your characterisation of Big Al wasn't consistent. In fact, the ending...
Stop right there, sir. You cannot abuse the rights of the people who are gathered here who haven't read the book. Someone take the microphone away from him.
What is the inspiration for A Prisoner of Birth?
It is inspired by people I met when I was sent to Belmarsh prison. It is also inspired by Alexandre Dumas' The Count of Monte Cristo. My challenge while writing this book, however, was to find an even better way to make Danny Cartwright escape and an even better way to get his revenge.
What do you think about India?
The newspapers stump me. The first six pages and the last six pages are dedicated to Bollywood and sports or to be exact, Twenty20. And any news of 'lesser' importance is squeezed in somewhere in the middle.
What do you think of Twenty20?
It's fun, but it's not cricket! But something interesting did happen. I met Rahul Dravid and he introduced me to Anil Kumble. So I shake the man by the hand, but instead of talking to me, he hurriedly punches numbers on his mobile phone. 'Hello,' he says. 'I am here with Jeffrey Archer.' He then passes the phone to me with a 'Talk to my wife. She is your biggest fan. I shall talk to you after that'.
Have you ever had writer's block?
No, never. I don't even know what that is like. I already know what my next three books will be. And every day I come up with at least three of four plots.
Mr Archer, my question (the lady unfortunately interrupts another member of the audience)...
Shush woman!
And the irreverent humour, the crisp answers and the camaraderie continue.
The last word
Night has fallen by now and Archer gets ready to sign books (after warning people not to shove, trample or hurt anyone), a proposition that will definitely take over three hours considering the winding queues and the thronging crowds. But before he sits down, he exclaims: A Prisoner of Birth is the best that I have ever written, even better than Kane and Abel.
Now that piques my curiosity. I decide I won't wait around for an autograph after all, and instead hurry home to read my copy. I do a Johnny Carson, too (I sit up until 4 a.m. in the morning), not because the book is unputdownable, but because I really want to see if it is indeed better than K&A or if it is just personal bias and some smooth 'marketing' talk. Unfortunately, I think the latter is true.
Archer's latest is just an OK read. There is none of the larger-than-life figures who brave all odds to become nation builders and breakers; none of the excitement that makes you want to keep turning the pages; none of the vision or depth. All it has is a nice story, some interesting plot lines for revenge (something I feel Archer is tops at), and some decent courtroom scenes.
There are way too many unanswered questions, contrived situations and characters just waiting to help the protagonist out of a tight spot that I couldn't digest.
So Mr Archer, if it pleases you, I'll just sit back and wait for your next to thrill me.
First published on Sify.com
